Bringing conflicts to awareness

[From Bob Christensen (2000.03.26.11.19 PT)]

In doing therapy I've tried to do MOL from what I understand of it. I listen
for background comments. But often what I think I'm hearing is not a
background comment from a higher level, but the other side of a conflict at
the same level. When someone tells you enough to releive the perspective
representing the dominant side of the conflict, the weaker side of the
conflict can then oscilate into awareness. If the person has some
awareness/comfort of the weaker side, it is often preceeded by the word
"but". So, what I often do is say something that summarizes both sides of
the conflict to facilitate the person holding both sides in their awareness
at once. This a fist step from which the person can work to resolve the
conflict. Whether or not this involves going to a higher level in all cases,
I'm not sure. Sometimes one side of the conflict is based on false
premises/perceptions, and questioning these premises is what seems to be
needed. Sometimes it's two competing perspectives on how to perceive a
person. Neither is adequate, and the person has to form a new perceptual
model that uses elements of both. Perhaps this is at a higher level.
Sometimes, perhaps the higher level that would satisfy both sides of the
conflict does not exist yet, but holding both perspectives in consciousness
at once facilitates a higher level forming.

I'm interested in hearing feedback about the perceived usefulness of this
technique and how it is similar or different from MOL.

Bob C.

[From Bruce Nevin (2000.03.26.1840 EST)]

Bob Christensen (2000.03.26.11.19 PT)
03:33 PM 03/26/2000

I meant to add: you seem to have indications that it does not matter
whether the originally conflicting references are re-set; they could be
supplanted by a new reference set by a new or different control system.

        Bruce Nevin

[From Bill Powers (2000.03.27.0228 MST)]

Bob Christensen (2000.03.26.11.19 PT)--

In doing therapy I've tried to do MOL from what I understand of it. I listen
for background comments. But often what I think I'm hearing is not a
background comment from a higher level, but the other side of a conflict at
the same level.

I've seen the same thing, and I treat it the same way you do: call
attention to one side of the conflict, then the other, then the first, and
so on. That's all. Eventually the person is able to hold both sides in
attention at the same time, and then you get an up-a-level remark like
"Well, I guess I can't have it both ways" or something like that.

How is the MOL working for you, if it's not too early to tell?

Best,

Bill P.

[From Rick Marken (2000.03.27.0750)]

Bob Christensen (2000.03.26.11.19 PT)--

what I often do is say something that summarizes both sides of
the conflict to facilitate the person holding both sides in their
awareness at once. This a fist step from which the person can
work to resolve the conflict...

I'm interested in hearing feedback about the perceived usefulness
of this technique and how it is similar or different from MOL.

It sounds great to me. I think calling a person's attention to both
sides of a conflict is, indeed, a good way to start the process of
going up a level. I did this with my son a few months ago and he
was pleased with the results. He appeared to have a pleasant "aha"
experience (an indication of his having gone up a level) when I
pointed out that while he wanted X (the result of which he was most
aware) he also, obviously, did _not_ want X (otherwise he would
have simply produced result X).

Best

Rick

ยทยทยท

--
Richard S. Marken Phone or Fax: 310 474-0313
Life Learning Associates mailto: rmarken@earthlink.net
http://home.earthlink.net/~rmarken

[From Bob Christensen (2000.03.27.22.40 PT)]

Bruce Nevin (2000.03.26.1840 EST)

I meant to add: you seem to have indications that it does not matter
whether the originally conflicting references are re-set; they could be
supplanted by a new reference set by a new or different control system.

I'm thinking that sometimes the references get re-set and sometimes not.
Sometimes a higher level system may not re-set the lower references, but
figure out how to satisfy both with a plan. Sometimes clearing a
misperception at any lower level on one side of the conflict clears the error
on that side of the conflict and hence not more conflict.

[From Bill Powers (2000.03.27.0228 MST)]
How is the MOL working for you, if it's not too early to tell?

I tend to think that a variety of techniques are useful; so I use MOL
intermittently. Thus it's not easy to know what is essential in being
helpful. Sometimes a person's conflict is pretty clear, and some MOL type
questions seem to do the trick. I think just knowing how to understand an
individuals conflicts and then communicating this to a client helps much.
Sometimes I explain in a more general way the nature of conflict as I did in
the Meditation group so clients can get better in general at recognizing
their conflicts.

Bob C.