Hi !
DF : As Bill said the other day -- this kind of crap can only go downhill.
I propose you nip this in the bud. This is not PCT science, this is
just bullying for the fun of bullying.
BH : Maybe I misunderstood something wrong, maybe you are referering to my
conversation with Bill because the only place I saw Bill lately using term
"downhill" was in conversation with me.
I think that no communication is "crap" or something necessarily "going
downhill" if somebody don't like it. This can be easily proved with PCT. PCT
"science" is proposing that people are purposefull, goal directed (oriented)
beings.
If I understand "crap going only downhill" right, I see communication in PCT
sense as communication of two persons who tried to "reach" their goals,
whatever "crap" they are using. I just see communication "exactly" following
briliant Perceptual Control Theory of human behavior. Not as "crap" going
"downhill", but as communication in which both sides tried to "reach" their
goals. When communication is going in direction of not meeting the goals
it's probably "going downhill" for a person who's "going away" from goals.
So by my oppinion communicators use different means to "achieve" their goals
through a control loop. If they don't succeed if "error" persists, because
they can't "fulfill" their goals, that doesn't mean it's a "crap"
communication. Communication is probably wrong in some points, providing no
way of agreement.
But people can learn and can try to make things go better. I think it's just
the question, how they do it or how they try to do it. I think "reaching"
their goals are people's everyday problem. And they try to solve problems
(not meeting goals) with different means, different "reorganizations". Some
needs also psychoterapist to help them or even better they rely on other
people to help them, maybe people who they ussually trust and can
communicate without fear that their communication we'll be exposed to others.
I see every communication as "who reaches the goals". His the "winner". But
it's also possible that all "wins" their goals. Then they must know, how to
negotiate, how to solve conflicts to satisfy them all. As Bill once said to
me : "You give me something what I need, and I give you something what you
need", what could mean that we both meet our goals.
This is how I see PCT working in practice in real life, as "science" of
explaining negotiation, conflicts, everydays life of people, living
creatures. But that probably depends from many parametrs, from how high
"goals are set" and all other characteristics of control systems. That's how
I see PCT as theoretical ground which explains as much as exactly what "is
happening" in reality, in relations between people, in interactions between
all living creatures and their environment, etcďż˝. So better match with
"reality", better theory.
I also see conversations on CSGnet as aplying theory of Perceptual Control
to every converstaion. I see it as applying theory in practice. What could
be other sensible use of theory ? What's the use of theory if we are just
talking about theory ?
I know it's difficult to understand theory when applied to ourselves. I know
it's easier to talk about theory applied to others. But theory probably
doesn't choose to whom is applied. I think only good "focused introspection"
is needed to realize what is happening, whether theory is adjusted with
"real facts" or not. Another problem is how to find a solution to what is
happening.
If I understand people right, they are always more or less "away" from their
goals, more or less experiencing "errors", probably trying to make their own
tempo of "reaching" goals, solving problems (reducing errors), creating
their own life-styles.
I try to use PCT as much as I can in everyday life. It's just working. By my
oppinion it's working also here on CSGnet in every conversation. I'm testing
it here on CSGnet, with Bill's permission. Making trials and errors to
understand theory better. But that doesn't mean it's a "crap". Wheather it's
perfectly right or not, I don't know yet exactly. Who knows ? But as PCT was
exposed publically I think we have to use it as much as we can.
But I'm asking myself what kind of goal can "persue" a person who talks
about "crap" in communication ? What goals he didn't "meet" ? Or what goals
he wants to "meet" ?
Best,
Boris