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From [ Marc Abrams (2003.05.18.1632) ]
In my continuing attempt to get some dialogue going on CSGnet I present this material. Take from it what you will. It is intended to get anyone interested in it, to start thinking about it.
This material was written by Diana M. Smith for Action Design ( a consulting company ), in August of 1987 for a consulting assignment;
I will add a few comments at the end.
" People make assumptions (that may or may not be accurate) about how the other person will respond based on past responses to past attempts.
This is not unreasonable. It’s hard to make assumptions based on things that have not happened. But people often then go on to assume:
If all past attempts have failed, then shall all future attempts.
The difficulty here is that this assumption is predicated on yet another assumption:
The past attempts, judged by themselves, have been effective, so t
While every one of these assumptions might be right, they might also be wrong. Yet most people add yet a fourth assumption to the previous one, thereby sealing all of them shut:
he other is therefore responsible for their failure
My assumptions are right
There is no need to check this out
It is this sequence of assumptions that runs the risk of keeping people locked into a world that imprisons them.
The dilemma is: How do you check to see whether you can get out without getting or causing serious hurt? The risk is akin to that with the mugger. It’s not very wise to say: “Let me check, do you intend to use that gun or is that a ploy you learned for getting my money?”
One way to get out of this bind is (again) to use your colleagues – but this time as a kind of test. Take the tips under Step Three, and ask that you and your colleagues focus on the issue of risk:
Might you or the other get hurt, should you decide to do this or that? What might the risk be of doing nothing or of doing something different?
Plea with your colleagues to focus on you and on what you are doing. This way you increase the odds that if there is something you might do more effectively, you will discover it."
What is step 3? People anticipate that they may at first raise these issues in ways that upset others and that others may retaliate in kind.
Does any of this sound familiar? I think so. I have contributed to it. Anyone else think they have? Anyone interested in becoming part of a solution? It’s all out there for us. Bill, Rick, you can’t “fire” me. You might try like hell to discredit me with your innuendo’s and false claims, but that won’t get me off CSGnet, and I really don’t care if I wind up talking to myself on this forum. I will continue to try and get meaningful dialogue going. Being “right” is not a goal of mine. Pursuing the truth as we may each come to understand it is. There is really never any end to any story. Only death brings it to us. Unfortunately some people are the “living” dead, closed to all new things and thought. I will always try to fight against that. This is a small attempt on my part in this direction.
Any thoughts on this?
Marc
Marc
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