[Martin Taylor 2003.12.16.09.52]
From [Marc Abrams(2003.12.16.0636)]
[From Bill Williams 16 December 2003 12:46 AM CST]
Martin & Bill,
Why does it matter _what_ the reference level of another individual is? What
matters is what is perceived about that individual, not what the 'real
intent' of the other is.
I thought I pointed that out. Was I wrong?
That we will never know for sure. That's why it's
important to make sure you are perceiving correctly, _that_ is somthing we
_do_ have some control over.
How?
We obviuosly, cannot get into someone's head
and 'see' intent.
Nevertheless, that's what we must do to the best of our ability in
any communication. Successful communication (seen from the omniscient
viewpoint) occurs when both parties correctly perceive the intent of
the other.
Successful communication (from the viewpoint of the originator of a
communication) occurs when the originator of the communication
perceives that the recipient correctly perceived the originator's
intent.
Successful communication (from the viewpoint of the recipient) occurs
when the recipient perceives that the originator perceives the
recipient to have correctly perceived the originator's intent.
That complexity is why communication is so difficult--and why it is
hard to be sure whether someone is an enemy. Deceit is a part of
communication.
Bill Williams says another cannot be an enemy if he presently has no
power to hurt me. I say he can, because he may gain that power, and
if he has a reference level to see me hurt (rather than to achieve
some other end that incidentally causes me hurt as a side-effect),
then he is an enemy. Also I cannot agree that "hurt" just means
physical damage. I think it means any restriction on my ability to
control, and that can happen through symbolic manipulation.
Martin