[From Bruce Abbott (961023.0900 EST)]
Bill Powers (961023.0530 MDT) --
Tim Carey (1023.1430)
RE: method of levels
And what do I then do with a statement like that? Where do I go?
It's very tempting to start giving advice or pointing out what the conflict
is, but I don't think that helps. What you do is more of the same. "Tell me
more about quitting while you're ahead." And "Tell me more about not getting
anywhere." And back and forth and back and forth, switching when one side
seems to be slowing down. And, of course, if you detect some still higher
level of comment, be sure to ask more about it ("I'm just a mixed-up kid",
which is followed by "What do you think about being a mixed-up kid?" (And
NOT by "Oh, no, you're perfectly normal").
If the kid asks you "What the hell should I do?" you say "What's it like to
be wondering what you should do? Tell me more about feeling that way." Of
course you vary the way you ask and say things -- it helps in keeping the
conversation real if you realize that you DON'T know what's going on inside
the other person, and you're trying to find out.
Bill Powers, meet Carl Rogers. Rogers called this approach "person-centered
therapy." Not surprisingly, you find it listed under "humanistic therapies"
in most psychology texts.
Regards,
Bruce