[Hans Blom, 960208e]
(David M. Goldstein, 02/04/96)
A while ago, I discussed a case of a 10-year old boy with separation
anxiety. Today I will give a brief report on the status of the case.
Thanks for letting us know.
With the decrease in fearfulness, there was an increase in physical
fights in school.
I have observed this same thing as frequently happening in a phase
where an individual learns that he/she is not a victim of circum-
stances, but can _act_. Initially, of course, the way in which the
boy acts will be untrained, coarse, unsophisticated. But I consider
the fighting to actually be an improvement, a step towards being in
control.
I suspected that the father subtlely encouraged the boy to be tough
and aggressive. If true, then a message from the father that
" You are no longer allowed to fight and must find other ways of
handling things" might work to decrease the fighting.
Reconsider trying to stop the boy from fighting; he might go back to
being a victim. Rather teach him what "fair" fighting is. Gradually,
"fair" fighting could transform into just having a "strong" presence,
without needing the actual fighting anymore.
Recently, I have stopped the sessions with the boy and the father
has asked to see me. He commented that it is so much easier to live
with his son, maybe he would be easier to live with if he addressed
some of his issues.
Congratulations!
Greetings,
Hans