[From Rupert Young (2017.06.06 11.45)]
I have someone coming to stay with me soon who is grossly
overweight, a very heavy drinker and depressive. Any suggestions
on ways I could help him from an MoL perspective? I could offer
some wise, PCT-inspired platitudes (e.g. you can control your own
state of mind!), but though there might be a more practical and
effective approach.
–
Regards,
Rupert
Hi Rupert, it doesn’t matter what his problem we just do MOL the same way for everyone. Two goals - ask about the problem that they want to talk about whatever it is - and ask about disruptions. Keep your questions snappy. Just keep going until he wants to stop, ask for feedback regularly (how is this going for you? How could I be more helpful in helping you talk and think about your problems?), and don’t do anything else!
Warren
–
Regards,
Rupert
[From Lynndal Daniels (2017.06.06 10:01 PST)
Rupert:
I have someone coming to stay with me soon who is grossly overweight, a very heavy drinker and depressive. Any suggestions on ways I could help him from an MoL perspective? I could offer some wise, PCT-inspired platitudes (e.g. you can control your own
state of mind!), but though there might be a more practical and effective approach.
Lynndal: Rupert, maybe Tim or Warren or another experienced MOL practitioner might respond differently…. But my first questionn would be for you….  p;Is this person being distressed about being
grossly overweight, being a heavy drinker or being depressive? Or are you distressed by it?
If the person isn’t distressed… my take is that from an MoL persppective he doesn’t need help…
/span>
[From Rupert Young (2017.06.07 11.30)]
Lynndal:              Rupert, maybe Tim or Warren or another experienced MOL practitioner might respond differently…. But my first question would be for you….    Is this person being distressed about being grossly overweight, being a heavy drinker or being depressive?   Or are you distressed by it?  😊
If the person isn’t distressed… my take is that from an MoL perspective he doesn’t need help…
Well, being depressed is distress, is it not? He's on anti-depressants and he reports as being unhappy with his lot. Of course I won't interfere if he is happy being unhappy. 😊
On 06/06/2017 18:04, Lynndal Daniels wrote:
On 06/06/2017 13:01, Warren Mansell wrote:
Hi Rupert, it doesn't matter what his problem we just do MOL the same way for everyone. Two goals - ask about the problem that they want to talk about whatever it is - and ask about disruptions. Keep your questions snappy. Just keep going until he wants to stop, ask for feedback regularly (how is this going for you? How could I be more helpful in helping you talk and think about your problems?), and don't do anything else!
I see that MoL seems sensible for temporary conflicts, and where going up a level the person can reach a different awareness. But what about decades of low self-esteem, which this may be, where someone doesn't feel able to achieve things out side of their norm.
As I understand it MoL is about the person achieving a new awareness, but can't this also be achieved by providing techniques which get them thinking, which leads to more awareness. E.g. talking about getting out of their comfort zone ("feel the fear and do it anyway") can, perhaps, make them realise that they are not doing things because of fear of failing, for example.
Are there also not situations where they need knowledge which they will not get from any degree of introspection? For example, if someone wants to lose weight, but are not aware of the glycemic load of different foods. They may think they that they are eating healthily, but on inspection of their diet it transpires they are eating a lot of bread (highGL). Unless they are provided with this knowledge from an external source they will continue to fail in their weight loss goal.
Regards,
Rupert
Hi Rupert, definitely. MOL is designed to help resolve chronic internal conflict that underlies loss of control that is distressing. Anything else you do is not MOL, but it could still be informed by PCT. The trouble is, if he is in chronic conflict, which is typically the case for long term problems, then giving information or advice often contributes to one side of the conflict and at the same time may be very well defended by the other side. If on the other hand, the problem is purely due to lack of knowledge or lack of a technique then your other interventions will work. Best way is to test them all!
Warren
[From Rupert Young (2017.06.07 11.30)]
Lynndal: Rupert, maybe Tim or Warren or another experienced MOL practitioner might respond differently…. But my firrst question would be for you…. Is thhis person being distressed about being grossly overweight, being a heavy drinker or being depressive? Or are you distressed by it? 😊
If the person isn’t distressed… my take is that from aan MoL perspective he doesn’t need help…
Well, being depressed is distress, is it not? He's on anti-depressants and he reports as being unhappy with his lot. Of course I won't interfere if he is happy being unhappy. 😊
Hi Rupert, it doesn't matter what his problem we just do MOL the same way for everyone. Two goals - ask about the problem that they want to talk about whatever it is - and ask about disruptions. Keep your questions snappy. Just keep going until he wants to stop, ask for feedback regularly (how is this going for you? How could I be more helpful in helping you talk and think about your problems?), and don't do anything else!
I see that MoL seems sensible for temporary conflicts, and where going up a level the person can reach a different awareness. But what about decades of low self-esteem, which this may be, where someone doesn't feel able to achieve things out side of their norm.
On 7 Jun 2017, at 11:18, Rupert Young <<mailto:rupert@perceptualrobots.com>rupert@perceptualrobots.com> wrote:
On 06/06/2017 18:04, Lynndal Daniels wrote:
On 06/06/2017 13:01, Warren Mansell wrote:
As I understand it MoL is about the person achieving a new awareness, but can't this also be achieved by providing techniques which get them thinking, which leads to more awareness. E.g. talking about getting out of their comfort zone ("feel the fear and do it anyway") can, perhaps, make them realise that they are not doing things because of fear of failing, for example.
Are there also not situations where they need knowledge which they will not get from any degree of introspection? For example, if someone wants to lose weight, but are not aware of the glycemic load of different foods. They may think they that they are eating healthily, but on inspection of their diet it transpires they are eating a lot of bread (highGL). Unless they are provided with this knowledge from an external source they will continue to fail in their weight loss goal.
Regards,
Rupert