Star Wars

[From Bruce Animist, er, Abbott (941104.1315 EST)]

Bill Powers (941103.1100 MST) --

Pardon me while I dry my eyes. I've been laughing so hard I can't see the
screen anymore! Bill, that was GREAT! But while Kirk and crew have been
communicating with the aliens, they have contrived to send yet another rather
pathetic e. coli simulation of "reinforcement" principles to annoy the
Enterprise crew--and just when there was some hope that McCoy could be
"deprogrammed."

Of course, my only role in all of this has been that of Starfleet translator.
I grew up with the aliens and thus have a more than passing familiarity with
their strange language and even stranger conception of the behaving sentient
being. Many of them do still appear to believe in the Ptolemaic system of
psychology, and I have only been attempting to show how this ancient model may
be construed in such a way as to account for planetary movements that we post-
Newtonians derive in simpler fashion from first principles. I must confess,
however, that this long period of assimilation into alien society has led to
certain habits of speech that are difficult to suppress, especially when
attempting to describe features of the alien literature, but I shall try my
best.

The aliens' new ECOLI3 simulation doesn't quite follow Sam Saunders's
proposal, now that I've had a chance to look it over again, because it does
not change the tumble rate directly as a function of the consequences of the
previous tumble. Rather, it changes tumble rate as a consequence of the
current value of dNut. However, the aliens tell me that they recognize this
problem and are working on yet another e. coli simulation that works as Sam
suggested. They plan to call this new (and I might add, complex) species e.
coli skinnerius.

Now, what are we going to do with this nifty CTBASIC control system?

Regards,

Bruce

Tom Bourbon [941104.1729]

[From Bruce Animist, er, Abbott (941104.1315 EST)]

Bill Powers (941103.1100 MST) --

Pardon me while I dry my eyes. I've been laughing so hard I can't see the
screen anymore! Bill, that was GREAT! But while Kirk and crew have been
communicating with the aliens, they have contrived to send yet another rather
pathetic e. coli simulation of "reinforcement" principles to annoy the
Enterprise crew--and just when there was some hope that McCoy could be
"deprogrammed."

Captain! Shouldn't we activate the shields?

Bruce, I've just finished playing with Ecoli3. It behaves as you -- and
Rick and Bill -- said. (These days, it seems that I am always the last to
receive mail from csg-l.)

. . . I have only been attempting to show how this ancient model may
be construed in such a way as to account for planetary movements that we post-
Newtonians derive in simpler fashion from first principles.

And a valuable thing it is that you are doing. But I am puzzled. When you
write about the ancient model, the words ring true to what we have seen
before. (The Enterprise has encountered those alien beings many times in
past episodes. We fully expect they will appear in the "Generations" movie
that is about to open -- we can't seem to write them out of the scripts.)
When you program your translations of the ancient model, something happens:
all three of your programs include a model of a perceptual control system.
Your words (which are really _their_ words) say one thing; your models
(which are -- whose are they?) say something else. The words are about
reinforcement, stimulus control of behavior, selection by consequences, and
the like; the models control their own perceptual signals and they contan
not a hint of the alleged processes and powers found in the words. Perhaps
the disparity will vanish when the next swarm of ecoli goes splat against
our forward shields.

The aliens' new ECOLI3 simulation doesn't quite follow Sam Saunders's
proposal, now that I've had a chance to look it over again, because it does
not change the tumble rate directly as a function of the consequences of the
previous tumble. Rather, it changes tumble rate as a consequence of the
current value of dNut.

Yes. You brought forth _another_ successful model of perceptual control.
Before long, you will feel no further need to identify with the aliens.

However, the aliens tell me that they recognize this
problem and are working on yet another e. coli simulation that works as Sam
suggested. They plan to call this new (and I might add, complex) species e.
coli skinnerius.

Shields up! Ready the photon torpedoes! Break for a commercial!

Later,

Tom