[From Kenny Kitzke (2003.12.07)]
As I returned to CSGNet and read the posts of the last couple of weeks, I experienced error that can best be described as discouragement.
I think the error stems from what I see posted on CSGNet compared to my reference for what I want to see posted there. My reference is something akin to a forum where the PCT theory of behavior (that behavior is the control of perception), and its corollary HPCT theory, can be proclaimed, explained, discussed, debated and be expanded and improved.
While that happens often enough to keep me on the list, scanning every post, and occasionally asking questions or proposing alternate theories, what I also observe are many posts talking about people on the Net. While some is praise, more often, it is criticism, sarcasm, accusation and other forms of personal attack. If you understand PCT, it will be no surprise that when you push on someone’ self-concept reference of themselves, they will resist and defend and even push back with their own attack on the attacker.
While these actions and behavior are explained by PCT/HPCT, they are still a disturbance, at least to me. So, I wonder if they are disturbing to other members too?
Again, for me, I would be embarrassed to send a collegue or friend to this Net to read what I have found there recently. Someone who is doubting the adequacy or correctness of other psychology theories and might get excited by PCT/HPCT and its explanations may quickly conclude this is not a place I want to go to gain understanding of behavior. Worse, who would want to post questions or challenges and get attacked, riduculed or ignored? It seems we have some perpetual lurkers. Who knows why? But, you can’t add anything to the theory or the dialogue or the learning by others by lurking.
This is not to say the situation for spreading the knowledge of PCT/HPCT to more people is hopeless. I refer anyone who shows interest in understanding behavior to such resources as books and web sites where the theory is explained. But, I perceive the CSGNet could be so much more powerful with potentially an exponential growth in participants on the Net, where we get to know one another as a side effect, perhaps via private replys.
I think all this explains why I feel discouraged? What can be done if others share a reference more similar to mine?
I suggest self-control. Stay away from personal accusations and character assassination. Keep on the theory and be careful of the way applications are discussed.
I see trying to address personal references for politics, religion, or other beliefs as openings for conflict between participants. I’ve asked repeatedly for those which have high gains on such beliefs to consider taking those personal references to a forum devoted to those topics. There, taking sides on what is best, or right or wrong, what is lovable or hated whether you are pro or con may be what the members seek. The conflict in the Steelers-Raiders game is expected and enjoyable. I will not be watching the game to learn anything of lasting value. I do hope to learn things of lasting value watching (lurking) and participating in CSGNet. But, not to learn to use irony or scarcasim the best, or win an argument or get others to just give up and win by default.
But, when someone lacks the self-control, and puts their personal preferences above the goal of having a valuable forum that edifies PCT/HPCT and those wanting to understand and utilize it, what can you do in an unmoderated forum?
I know of two things. First, do not reply on the forum. If no one replys to a person who can’t control themselves, they will probably eventually give up posting and leave. That would be progress without conflict, rancor and discouragement of current and new posters on the Net.
Second, if you just can’t resist trying to correct, admonish, etc., a poster, do so privately. They may give you a tussle or they may thank you for trying to communicate, understand and find constructive improvement in personal behavior that strengthens the Net as a place where you can learn without being discouraged.
I can hardly believe I am going to hit “Send Now.” Instead of responding to some great posts, I have spent much time trying to share some ideas that could lead to encouragement and learning. Probably will be blasted for trying. So it goes. Stay cheerful anyway.
A Discouraged PCTer.